The Buck Truly STOPS with YOU! December 4, 2007
Posted by Barry & Heather in : Beyond "The Secret" Wisdom , trackbackIt’s a funny thing — human nature, that is…
People believe what they want to believe. They find meaning where they can, and they cling to it. In the end, it really doesn’t matter what’s a trick and what’s true.
What matters is that people believe.
And, we use people in the “third-person”, not to insinuate that we’re any different, but only to assume the faith… well… in your powers of BELIEF.
Yet, before you think this is going to be JUST another nice, trite reminder about how “what you believe, you create and experience,” think again.
click the “more…” link to read on…
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Sure, it’s absolutely important to at least be aware that funded experiments and academic research has shown that your brain (our brain, everybody’s brain) edits reality according to its beliefs. Meaning, it takes out information that is there, and adds things that aren’t there, to construct a reality / experience to fit the belief.
But, what’ya gonna do with that knowledge?
Sure, it’s important to really understand how everything you have in your life can be traced back to an idea or belief; yet, again…
How’s that understanding supposed to help you?
Oftentimes, on our trek for gaining a little “spiritual insight” — the soul-level wisdom / guidance we know we occasionally need to make our ambitions come true — we forget to STOP, set up camp, and fish some.
We’re walking, walking, and walking along this cool little adventure into the rainforests of our inner-self, but we’re shocked to find out, after so many months, that, gosh darn it, we’re not living the lessons.
We had a lot of comments to Friday’s post (”Your View of Life…”) and what hit us as really interesting are the people who told us, either though the public comments section or by replying into our ticketing system, things like:
“I’ve always known about the Be-Do-Have principle. Came across this during my manifestation research awhile back…”
or
“Thanks for such a great post! You certainly gave us lots of thought-provoking information. I wonder how many people really do get the idea of Be Do Have…”
Yes, we wondered that too.
However, after thinking about that, we realize that MOST people do in fact get it… intellectually, anyway. Yeah, the premise is sound enough to the majority. There’s meaning attached to it. The human brain loves knowing it knows something else that will (academic-belief) make it play on Super Manifestor levels.
How many people that know about this mind technique (or something similar), though, do you believe (no pun) are actually LIVING (or DOING) it?
The caller from Indiana that we told you about on Friday’s post very well probably already understood how the ability to “be” is more important than the ability to “do”, and that the ability to “do” is more important than the ability to “have” (we happen to know that he’s been on many of our simulcast live calls).
But, his self-talk didn’t match up with his spiritual knowledge, did it?
Sometimes, we just have to suck it up and take responsibility for ourselves, and have somebody ELSE (er, such as the mentor that was listening to him interpret his reality in detail) tell us the truth about the way we think.
It’s very important to own-up to the negative feelings you have about yourself… even though sometimes it takes another person to let us know that, “come on, man, that kind of talk is keeping you on a low vibrational level, and it’s causing you to move the things you want away from yourself.”
And yes, like a few of the people that commented on Friday’s blog post, you might even think it’s painful and unloving for somebody to call another out on his or her own “blame game” or victimitis self-talk… nonetheless, the TRUTH that hurts, always transforms in BIG ways.
We feel our guest mentor did a bang-up job in letting our caller from Indiana know that he’s responsible for his own evolution and, even more importantly, that Universal law doesn’t discriminate.
Meaning, as harsh as this sounds, it doesn’t care if you use it correctly. It’s unemotionally attached to you, me, and the man from Indiana.
While it would be nice if the Universe felt sorry for our down-and-out situation, rocky background, or lot in life, we need to finally come to terms with the fact that it’s just plain impartial.
It only gives us back what we individually give ourselves.
It receives your energy and delivers pearls, or pebbles, depending on what you put in.
The more you flirt with a “spiritual idea” without dancing with it; the more you cherish your knowledge of things on this blog without applying the things; the more you try and avoid self-inflicted adversity or negative states; the more you market your unwanted states to the world in very vocal ways, the more you’re basically telling the Universe:
“Hey, this power all sounds lovely… but, secretly, deep down I’ve been looking for more proof and deeper insight because I really couldn’t ever believe it until I experience it anyway. One day, after I’ve dissected your laws to death, I’ll see myself as a magnificent infinite being who can sculpt my own life.”
This is what we call academic-belief.
It’s the opposite, exact opposing energy draw, to BE-ing.
We once heard David Icke (good video here) say that “belief is a form of imagination at the lowest ends of possibility.”
( READ THAT TWICE )
What he’s referring to is the academic-belief we talk about on this post today.
So, conscious creators (the ones who get results) never say, think, of affirm to themselves “I can” or “I will” or “I get it.”
Instead, it’s all about “I am.”
Here’s a quote from Abraham-Hicks that puts this in a neat little bow for you:
“As you focus upon what it feels like to be living your desire, you cannot, at the same time, be feeling the absence of your desire, so with practice, you can tip the scale, so to speak, so that even though your desire has not yet actually manifested, you are offering a vibration as if it has - then it must. ”
Energy flows where attention goes, it’s been said. And, guess what, that includes energizing everything you DON’T want, aren’t impressed with, or are trying to get rid of.
So, STOP believing in your current reality, if it’s unwanted, and START BE-ing whatever, or whoever, you WANT to be.
And, if you still need to hear some commentary about this, here’s a response we’re making to a few of the community members who made comments about our (or our guest teacher’s) way of handling our caller.
Comment by Thomas ( Friday blog post )
“So let me ask you something in regards to this man from Indiana. Did you listen to his words with your heart? or did you respond to his cry for help with the ego mind?”
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Comment by Tutikira ( Friday blog post )
“Life is a work of art that for many is still in progress. It is not possible for everyone to have a finished masterpiece in their hands. We do not say to artists, “you wanted to create a piece of junk, and that is why your painting is rubbish!” - this is terribly insensitive.
If you want to help someone create a better piece of art, or a better life, don’t tell them something abstract like “you wanted to create bad art”, or “you wanted a bad life!” - as this is rubbish. No creature in creation WANTS to feel pain, it is the very nature of pain that if we had choice we would not experience it.
Tell them how to start again, give them a new brush technique - or a method for being more clear…”
—————
Comment by Jane ( Friday blog post )
“Being is the key, true; but there are many whose only experience is of being needy, weak, and powerless. I work with people who have no loving parental influences in their lives, and to tell these people they’re creating the misery they’re experiencing isn’t very helpful if they’ve known nothing else. We learn about our worthiness, or assume a lack of it, from parents, largely. Those without the basic reassurance of kind words and parental interest are at a huge disadvantage - and it applies to huge numbers of people, not just the ones who ‘get into trouble!’ What we’re familiar with is what we tend to stick with and recreate, emotionally. Having lacked the emotional food you need from day one - i.e never having experienced happiness, or being accepted, or belonging, means imagining yourself being happy or successful at anything is a huge leap! It’s one that can’t always be achieved without external help, just as someone drowning in the ocean needs a hand into the life raft…
I think in order to let go of our old hell, we need someone to share our suffering with us if only for a moment. Allowing someone that time is really valuable; the suffering is real, and needs to be acknowledged before they’re able to start letting it go.
Loving someone means accepting them as they are, and offering them whatever they need from a higher, loving perspective. No amount of knowledge of the principles of attraction etc will do as much as feeling the genuine love and interest of another human being - someone who is already where you long to be.”
Our Response:
Tutikira, we feel you’re missing the point.
I’m sure that you create the EXACT outcome you want (consciously or subconsciously), just like the artist and the caller.
See… we’re not telling you your results are “bad” any more than we tell an artist that their art is “bad” or a person that their life is “bad”.
Why?
Because when we’re talking about art, life, and everything remotely related to it… beauty (and ugliness, “goodness” and “badness”) is in the eye of the beholder. Life just “is”. Art just “is”. Situations just “are”. It’s only when we judge them that we end up calling them “good”, “bad”, “junk”, “brilliant” or what-have-you.
You’re absolutely right… you would never say to Picasso “you wanted to create a piece of junk” (although we know some people who would, but that’s beside the point) because you KNOW that he created his work from the heart, and that what is on the canvas is exactly what he WANTED to create.
If he says it’s a masterpiece, you look for evidence of brilliance, even if at first glance you’re thinking, “what a piece of crap.” And if we’re talking about Picasso, then you’ll probably find that brilliance if you listen to your own heart and the emotions stirred up within you, because Picasso worked very much with emotional impact.
However, we totally disagree that you “Tell them how to start again, give them a new brush technique - or a method for being more clear.”
Here’s the VERY important, yet perhaps fine line where we think your understanding of the situation may be off:
Picasso himself is the one calling his painting “junk” or a “masterpiece”. He has created exactly what he wanted… it’s not up to you to decide that you know better about his art than he does, and teach him your own rudimentary understanding of what his art “should” be (our friend Michael Angier says, “The 11th Commandment is: ‘Thou Shalt not should on thyself’”… and “shoulding on” yourself or others, or putting some credence on how things are “supposed to” be, and once again — JUDGING life — is probably the fastest way to unhappiness there is.)
Similarly, the caller himself was the one calling his life “bad”.
Nobody said to him “you wanted to create a piece of junk”… because nobody HAD TO. HE was the one proclaiming his life a disaster. And if he had had the same life, and chose to describe it in terms of being a masterpiece, nobody would have corrected him.
Our life is our canvas, and we are the artist. We are the playwright, and our life is the script.
So, what scene are you going to write for yourself ?
Another friend of ours, the mentor that author Jim Donovan mentioned in his comments, is Michael Losier. He is fond of saying, “If it feels good, it is. If it doesn’t, it isn’t.”
So… if the caller’s life “felt good” he would have been full of descriptive words about how wonderful it was. The same situation could have made him very happy, if he was skilled in being grateful for what he HAS instead of disdainful for what he DOES NOT have.
As it was, he was the one calling it “junk” as you say. So that’s what he created… junk.
And Thomas… yes, that is what is called “listening from the heart”. We, and our guest mentor, and those who have responded in support of the conversation, all understood with our intuition, immediately, that there was only one answer that could be given. And that answer is precisely what the mentor said… which is brilliant if you open your heart and mind to it, but “junk” if your judgments are clouding your vision — just like Picasso’s painting.
Jane, you end your comment with some good points about the power of love.
In fact, Dr. John Demartini (one of the featured teachers in Masters of the Secret) often says:
“There is only love. All else is illusion.”
What he means is, “love” is not an emotion in the conventional sense, but a synthesis of ALL emotions (and their polar opposites): happiness, sadness, admiration, jealously, like, hate, attraction, repulsion, and so forth. And the reason love comprises all the emotions is that it is the purest of consciousness; so while you’ve heard that everything is made up of energy, or everything is made up of consciousness, it’s just as true to say everything is made up of love.
However, playing the “blame game” or choosing to be a “victim” (yes, we said “choosing to be” a victim) is not the way to create a different reality.
We need to take self-responsibility for our situations, regardless of what our parents “did to us” or our ex-spouses “didn’t do for us”. We created the situation, and can choose to keep living it, or to change it.
Granted, sometimes the change itself is very painful. But Tutikira, yes, we do choose to feel that pain… and to grow from it. We have to decide which pain is greater; the pain of the life we have that we want to change, or the pain of changing in order to create something better.
We heard a story once about a dog sitting on the porch of a farmhouse, howling in pain. A passerby asked the farmer what was wrong, and the farmer said the dog was sitting on a nail. When the passerby asked why the dog didn’t move off the nail, the farmer said, “It doesn’t hurt enough for him to bother.”
The people you both refer to, and the caller we had, decidedly do feel pain. But if the nail doesn’t hurt enough… they need to find another motivation to change, OR they can just accept the reality they have; but complaining about it won’t help a bit.
One other angle you might want to consider is that, when we talk about the fact that “we” create our reality, and “we” choose to feel pain and be challenged, many people assume that “we” is the human form “we”; the person you see in the mirror.
But many of us believe that the “we” who really do the creating are our higher selves. Our friend Jafree Ozwald says that when we’re riding the roller coaster of life, and screaming in fright over the severe downs we experience among the ups, that’s the time to metaphorically take our hands off the bars, put them high in the air, and yell, “whhheeeeeeeeeeee!”
Because that is truly what our souls are experiencing… we come here to live all aspects of life, to take on challenges and play the game of overcoming them, so why would we want life to be a walk in the park, any more than you’d want to pay to ride a roller coaster and end up on a kiddie-size merry-go-round instead?
Isn’t it time to start accepting our realities, take responsibility for them, learn the rules, and then enjoy the game we came here to play?
Your Partners in The Quest For
Living a Life Without Limits,
Barry Goss // Heather Vale
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Comments»
This one of the most insightfull articles i have read in a long time. Thank you very much, i am greatfull and humble
Regards Pieter
What a fabulous article! I ate it up for supper and am still digesting it. Thankyou so much
After reading this article today I immediately went into a very intense conscious space of silence. I did this willingly in order to allow myself, once again to experience the deep understanding of the wisdom behind your message today. I was that person that grew up with no Loving parental influence until my mid twenties. Living a life with no Love caused me to manifest cancer at a young age of 24, ignorant to it at the time of course. Today i am stronger and healthier then ever, living a life of Love because i allowed another persons Love and friendship into my life, not only did i beat cancer because of it but I know now, with my whole being that LIVING A LIFE WITH LOVE is LIFE in itself!!
I find it very interesting reading this post. I wonder if I am the one who manifested this post from my subconscious/expanded self to tell me something or reiterate a valid point in how this game we call life is really played. As everything is based off of our perception which comes from our mind and as is said that “Nothing is outside of you!”
After reading all of this, one quote came to mind from “Gifts from A Course in Miracle”
“”Whatever you accept into your mind has reality for you. It is your acceptance of it that makes it real.”"
We are the ones that accept whether something is real or not for ourselves. No perceived entity (ex: Barry, Heather or the Mentor) will be able to change that for the one doing the perceiving.
Here is another thought “If my mind is creating what I perceive as reality, am I the one creating the rules/laws?”
something to ponder!
Have a Wonderful time playing!
Well, since I have the opportunity, I’ll chime in.
First of all, personally, I HATE roller coasters! Never liked ‘em, never will. I do so much prefer a slow, calm walk in the park, especially on my horse’s back. That doesn’t mean we don’t EVER go for a gallop…or that I don’t ever drive really fast on an empty highway…I do love speed, in small controlled doses. I’m just not crazy about the free fall of the ups n’ downs of a roller coaster…or life either for that matter. I like at least the semblence of steering, brakes or control of some kind; even if that control is only within myself. You can’t stop a tornado , but you can go in the cellar.
That being said, when I need a leg up to get back on the horse when I do fall off, so to speak, I always refer myself again to a sweet little book, Thaddeus Golas’: The Lazy Man’s Guide To Enlightenment. Among the gems of wisdom is, “Love it the way it is.” Simple and to the point.
He goes on to explain, “The way you see the world depends entirely on your own vibration level. When your vibration changes, the whole world will look different. It’s like those day when everyone seems to be smiling at you because you feel happy. The way to raise your vibration level is to feel more love. Start by loving your negative feelings, your own bordedom, dullness and despair. It’s hard to believe, but changing the content of your mind does nothing to change your vibration level.”
“For the purpose of raising your awarness, it is useless to change your ideas, your faith, your behavior, your place of residence, or your companions.”
“It is not arbitrary nor an accident that you are where you are, so you might as well get your attitude straight before you make a change. Otherwise you might find yourself chasing all over creation looking for the right place, and not even the Sea of Infinite Bliss will feel right to you.”
“You take yourself with you wherever you go. As they say in Zen: If you can’t find it where you’re standing, where do you expect to wander in search of it?” Hallelujah!
I highly recommend this book. It’s short (only 79 pages) and can be read in an hour if you’re a fast reader…or you can take your time to saver and think about what you are reading. I’m particularly partial to Chapter 9: What Is Real? I’ve read this book so many times over the past 20+ years, I don’t even know how many!
Be that as it may, one can’t get stuck in any one idea or place for too long. It may not even work 15 minutes from now. You have to be flexible. One has to have the ability to let go…like when you listen to music you automatically let go of notes to hear the next, and the next…then you enjoy the whole tune.
“No resistance.” as Golas says…no resistance.
It’s sooooo… much easier to play the blame game and avoid our responsibilities and duties! But not nearly so much fun or so rewarding!
This is a fine discussion. And kudos to you for bringing Abraham-Hicks into the conversation. S/he says something though that is subtle and because it is easy to overlook I want to point out that the word “practice” is the key part of the quote. It’s important because of the ways our minds and emotions work - and the “dream” will always evoke its absence, always. This is why folks went to monasteries and into retreats and suchlike - the work is easy to fall away from. You CAN get to a point in your practice where you feel that undertow and shift - without judgment or shame - but it’s tricky. Keep a move on and a light heart. Thanks for this.
Thank you for this message as it is something which I really needed to hear as am in the middle of a really low vibrational state.
Thanks I needed that!
iNDEED VERY ENLIGHTNING AND MOTIVATING THIS ARTICLE INEED MAKE YOU THINK IF WE REALLY ARE LIVING THE LIFE WE DESIRE TO LIVE OR JUST WISHING IT WOULD BE THERE FOR ME TAKING THE STEP FROM KNOWING-BELIEVING TO ACTING-BEING DOING HAS BEEN RATHER A SLOW CONCEPT TO GRASP SPECIALLY WHEN MOST OF OUR LIFE WE HAVE BEEN CONDITION TO “BELIEVE” THAT WE CAN’T HELP OUR LOT IN LIFE - THIS IS THE WORST INBEDED BELIVE MANY OF US HAVE.
THANKS VERY MUCH AND KEEP THE GOOD WORK - CHANGING PEOPLE ONE AT A TIME.
Thank you so much for this article, I have been needing to hear/read this. I love life, I love “my” life. I love who I am and where I am and I would NEVER trade being here at this moment in time for anything! Life is a blessing and will continue to be a blessing!
The only thing that I m having a bit of trouble with right now at this moment is when they say, “act as if”. How can you act as if, if lets say I wanted a million dollars to live the life I truly desired and I don’t at this moment have it..then how can I act as if I do have it…you know, “be, do and have” how can I if I don’t have it, I keep saying/visualizing that I do, but the reality of it is I don’t have it. I (and I really do hate to write this right now because I am sort of affirming it)but I can’t afford to even buy a Christmas tree, or Christmas gifts! I am affirming every day that “I can and will have a Tree and giftsand also have enough to pay my mortgage and other bills because I am one with the creator and I create my own reality! But as Christmas gets closer and nothing happens I get more anxious…knowing with all my heart that I’m not supposed to I must have the utmost faith, that I must believe with all my heart that I am a millionaire and that this too shall pass! Acting as if, does it mean go out there and spend your money thats intended for bills because I believe I am a millionaire what does “Act as if” mean? I really need to be clear on this so I can move on…I’ve read so many books, “Think and Grow Rich”, “The Master Key” and I get it when I’m reading them but then I really don’t “get it” cause I haven’t gotten it..know what I mean? Please help!!?
Thanks so much!! I know you two will give it to me the way I need it to be given!
Love and light..Debs
Fantastic article. It is so true that sometimes we have to experience pain before we can move forward.
In a sense our comfort level dicates what we can achieve. As long as the “pain” is within our comfort zone we will stay the same. Life changing moments happen when we can’t bear the pain anymore.
Studying people who changed their life dramatically I found that they all had an awakening moment, a “I can’t take it anymore” moment. That was the start or motivation to change their circumstances.
To grow we should focus on what Tony Robbins calls CANI - Constant And Never ending Improvement - by that he means focus on the postive things in your life and see what you can improve further in your life.
Paul
“The Improveologist”
You guy’s explained it perfectly or almost perfect if we do not have perfection in ourselves. End of story
thanks for sharing the knoledge Regards Vincent
That Abraham-Hicks words seals the deal!!! Then you followed up with “energy flows where attention flows”. If we can realize where we are and what we are feeling and expressing on a moment to moment basis…gosh we can manifest everything easily and more effortlessley. People need to get out of OUR own way!!! Great post!
Thank you for the wonderful article! One of my favorite quotes is “What created you is created in you” and I’m sorry I don’t remember the author. It might be from a Sufi. It SEEMS like the mind is inside us and reality is out there, and that it is a good thing to “face facts” and “not fool ourselves” and “stop imagining things.” Yet, mind is integral to everything. Mind–universal mind, higher mind, our mind–just IS everything. And it SEEMS like the mind is an instrument with various capacities, like thinking, perceiving sensory or emotional or intellectual or spatial input, describing, deciding, and so on, and that perceiving is just a passive mirroring of things, but with knowing the principles of creating, we see that mind has only one capacity: CREATING, or maybe we could say, creating the story. And that means that even when we are perceiving, we are creating. So then it comes to perceiving and describing what we wish to perceive and describe. And if it isn’t “out there,” then we can fabricate it, play at it, feel it, create it “in here.” We can create the blueprint and the feeling on the inside and leave it to inner mind and universal mind to read the blueprint and build the rest of reality and experience around it.
Barry and Heather: Your comments are absolutely brilliant! So in depth and insightful. I so appreciate your presence on the internet
Great interpretation and clarification of the meaning behing creating/attracting our own life situations. Handled very lovingly.
I too am grateful for these reminders of my co-creation of my life situations, the good, the bad, the ugly, Thanks for the reminder that it’s all good.
Hi Debs,
Regarding “Acting as if”… I made a short comment on that on Friday’s blog post (in the comments section, answering some other questions) but I wrote a whole post about how I did it on my personal blog here:
http://heathervale.com/blog/2007/11/30/faking-it-until-you-make-it/
The main thing to understand is that it’s about the FEELING of having what you want, or being what you want. Like my example in the blog comment Friday, when I get a professional massage (a small luxury that can feel like a tremendously expensive luxury if you think of it that way), I constantly soak it up in joy, and gratitude for being able to treat myself to a luxury… or gratitude that I have a partner like Barry who would treat me to that luxury, if he paid for it.
So no, it’s not about spending money you don’t have because that’s what you’d do if you had it… it’s about doing the most with what you have from where you are, and accessing the same FEELINGS you would have if you were actually spending that money (is it the money you want, or the feelings the money brings you — happiness, freedom? For most people it’s not about green slips of paper we call money, it’s about the emotions and the capabilities that can bring you… so that’s the same feeling you’re going for by “acting as if”, and eventually you fulfill your own prophesy).
Hope that helps clarify it and bring it home a bit.
cheers
Heather
I think this post clarified in helping us see how we prolong our suffering and misery by holding on to aspects of ourselves that are no longer working. Why is it that many people know what they should be doing and yet they still don’t do anything about it? Why do New Year’s Resolutions and diets fail so consistently. None of us deliberately decide to come here to suffer. Even though we are all born great we have been conditioned into mediocrity by either our society, cultural programming, lack of good role models, family, etc. These programming then finds its way into our subconscious minds which then creates and reinforces that reality. As adults only we can be responsible for changing this paradigm. Changing that reality takes conscious awareness, effort and diligent practice. People stay stuck because they are afraid of change even though change can be both positive and exciting. As James Allen, said most people want to improve their lives but they don’t want to change themselves, they therefore remain bound.
Hi, Debs!
I’d like to add “gratitude” to what Heather shared above. It sounds like that you just have enough money to make ends meet.
If you want to apply the “fake it until you make it” principle, I suggest you start being grateful for having the money to settle your bills.
You can start “acting like” you don’t owe anybody anything… Interestingly, it can be, or it already is, true.
Think about it… paying off your bills is one capability that you have in common with the richest people in the world!
Now, that’s something to be thankful for, right?
Cheerio!
All I can say is I still think you lack compassion and tend to speak from a position of arrogance. Look at your own metaphor about the dog. Translate that into real life, and tell me, what would you think about a real man - not a man in a joke but a real person - who sits by while his dog suffers when he could relieve the suffering by lifting the dog off the nail? Would you think, oh, how wonderful, he’s helping that dog learn to look after itself? Or would you think, what a cruel person, leaving his dog in pain like that! Well, try applying that to your own efforts to teach and recognize you’re dealing with real live human beings, not metaphors, not abstractions. Dont’ forget, what you call the truth about the way the universe works is not truth at all but rather your belief about what the truth is. Asserting you know the absolute truth is hubris.
The Power of Attraction and Need
On a very simple level the power of attraction works. I am going to relate a story that happened to me today. I needed some ingredients to finish the pot roast I was making. I needed about $5.00 but I didn’t have any money. I also needed to pick up bird seed for my mother-in-law. She gave me her debit card to pay for the bird seed. I had a gift card from Tractor Supply where I was going to go for the bird seed and right next door was Shop Rite where I needed to get what I needed but again, I didn’t have any money and I have been out of job for some time. My thoughts were bent on where I would get the money to buy what I needed. I had a thought that if I used my TSC gift card then I could use her debit card to get what I needed and the balance would be fine. It turned out that the gift card had expired. Now how could a gift card expire? Someone paid money for that card and it should be good forever just like if they bought me a gift that I could keep forever or gave me money that I could sock away without spending. After the card had been denied several times and the cashier called tech support they first told her it was okay and then told her it expired. That meant I couldn’t get what I needed and I would just use the debit card for the bird seed. Candy, the cashier called the manager and explained the problem. He responded by taking the gift card and giving me cash for its value. Great I said, now let’s apply this to the bird seed and then if there is a balance I’ll pay with some other method. I thought I would just use the debit card for the rest and go home. “No”, he said. The bird seed was on them and he was sorry for any inconvenience they caused. I said “No”. I’m glad that they were honest and I wanted to pay for the bird seed. He looked at me with sincerity in his eyes and insisted that this purchase was on them and thanked me for shopping there. He wished me a Merry Christmas and shook my hand. I heartily shook back and wished him a Merry Christmas and thanked him again. I walked out of the store crying knowing that the power of attraction worked with my need. I thanked the Lord and said that I would write this story because this is the other thing that I want – to write and make money at it. I know that I need to start without making any or much money at all. You have to give things away to get anything back. That is the law of compensation. Read Emerson’s essay on Compensation and you will understand this principle. This is something that Shawn, the manager of the TSC store, apparently knew. For with my understanding and his compassion and understanding I was able to get both the bird seed and the ingredients I needed to finish the pot roast. Now I need to give the left over money away. It’s only fair that someone else should benefit from this. Thank you!
This has to do with what are you going to do with your knowledge. I know this works and I am going to show you time and time again.
Interesting.
Hmmmm,
I am very glad my post inspired such a response.
Still, my point was missed just slightly.
To be sure, the Self is the source of our existence and thus we must bring change for ourselves, by taking action ourselves.
As such, there is no way around this and this is not contested.
My point is, that it is far more motivating for the aspirant if we do not work with the assumption that they want pain.
As Life coaches it is our responsibility to lead the student.
You can “kick someone in the pants” if you like, but this is far less effective than acknowledging their distress. Within my own teaching, I work with assumption that pain is never something people want.
I like to outline that pain is the opposite to pleasure and that no being wants pain.
It seems that is like making the assumption they are plain stupid to assume they want pain - and this assumption (/belief?) is very detrimental to human relations.
Whilst many people are too sleepy to realise they are in pain, a wise person does not try tell them the want the pain….
A great article. You guys always seem to be writing about the same stuff that has been on my mind for a while..talk about co-incidences!!
There were no judgements on my part, only 2 questions, however I did discover something about myself in the process. Since I’ve been studying the various mentors, if I have questions I ask. Joe Vitale talks about how one can transend the ego or step aside if you will if one asks themselves how their product or service can help at least 2 other people. He also takes responsibility as a teacher.
Genpo Merzel also talks about ego being the source of conflict in our world. Believe me I understand that no matter what you do some people just dont want to get it. I’ve counseled people, taught people if you will but have also had in my opinion failures.
What I feel is this, the cause of these failures were at the core a fear that the student could not get past. I also believe in responsibility, but I’ve taken that to yet a deeper level. Since we are all connected then we are all responsible. Not just the person experiencing the roadblock or refusal.
Those of us who have done a considerable amount of healing understand just how others can impact our lives when we were at a certain level of vibration if you will. As a teacher I would want to know why I couldnt reach that one student. Being able to understand that and possibly finding a better way would make me a better teacher, at least in my opinion it would.
If anything you and I both know the teachers give hope. I would think that is their main task. The varying degrees of methods, some of which conflict are just limited perspectives. What I’ve always done ever since I was a child was look for the best that worked for me. Something I could model.
Yes. Very, very true. I’m about to come off the most painful year of my life. When I review this past year, I realize how much I’ve grown and how much of my life I’ve had an opportunity to review and change the aspects that have not worked in the past. Your post speaks specifically to that and I thank you.
Just one other thing, but ever since the release of the Secret, and I mean this in the spirit of humor, its like turning on the light and watching the roaches scatter.
Total responsibility, class, repeat after me” Total Responsibility” What I discoverd was this, what part of me is causing anyone out there to suffer.
I knew this before someone was kind enough to send me the book no limits, however even I need to be reminded as that repressed ego voice that denies responsibility must be loved and allowed to speak in order to heal.
Hi Ian,
You are entitled to your opinion, and we welcome it on this blog… however, we still kind of shake our heads in amazement (or amusement) at what you wrote.
Our Masters of the Secret “Secret Master #4″ is a well-known teacher and multi-millionaire who says trying to help those who are not willing to help themselves is like “rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic”… and I agree.
You can pick up and move that metaphorical dog as often as you like, but again… if the pain isn’t great enough to cause a change, he’ll keep going back to that same pattern or habit of sitting on the nail, until he decides he’s had enough.
Not until YOU’VE had enough with his whining and howling — but HE has to have had enough himself.
How many people are you going to lift off their proverbial nails? Some people dedicate their lives to doing that, but statistics show us it’s not working. Take homeless people off the street, give them a job and a future, and something like 60% just end right back on the street.
The same with lottery ticket winners… we’ve all heard the stats there.
But I wouldn’t call our engaging people in this discussion “arrogant”. A better description would be “confident”; not afraid to call the shots as we see it, and ruffle a few feathers in the process, as long as we inspire more people than we annoy (and judging by the comments here, I’d say we achieved that goal… and we’ve helped people who were both inspired and annoyed along the way, which is a nice bonus).
In the spiritual arena, “arrogance” usually involves holding one mentor or school of thought up as the holy grail, or putting them on a pedestal as “the” way. That is not what we do… we, more than probably most people in the personal development niche, go to MANY mentors to get the answers to the questions people ask.
(Ironically, you using that phrase to describe us comes across as arrogant itself, but that’s just the way our life mirrors work, isn’t it?)
So anyhow, thanks for your opinion… and you might find it easier to help dogs change their harmful habits than people, but I wish you luck either way.
cheers
Heather
I’m sorry, but alot of this sounds like an attempt to come up with the ‘right’ answer - and there’s no such thing! I like John’s story - that’s real, the fulfilling of needs.
Increasing in Love is the only point of personal growth - If we judge someone else as less aware or ‘not ready’ to hear ‘the truth’ we miss a great opportunity to communicate with another human being - who is also full of the highest frequency of Love. If we have an opportunity to communicate with someone, it’s good to remember words alone never do that - they form at best 30% of any communication. Body language, emotions, including tone of voice, supply the rest!
If a dog is sitting on a nail, I will move that dog - no question! If he sits back down on the nail, I’ll get rid of the nail. It’s my privilege to care for others - it gives meaning to life. Standing back and saying ‘oh the dog’s not suffering enough to move’ is just so ignorant of the joy of life!
If I seem to know more than someone else at any particular time, then I have been given the priceless opportunity to use my understanding to care for them until such time as they’re able to do it for themselves. It really is arrogant to judge others as ‘not ready’ - we aren’t in any position to know! Didn’t Jesus teach that lesson with the woman caught in adultery who was going to be stoned? He didn’t judge her - just told her to go away and ’sin no more’. We lose out by taking the ‘I’m more aware than you’ position because we then experience the illusion of separation.
Love holds everything, including meaning; being right, even if there is such a thing, is meaningless without Love. A teacher who doesn’t show humility, compassion and love, is not teaching anything I want to learn!
Is it possible to get the contact information of the “Comment by Jane” person. I have a friend who was emotionally and physically abused as a child and needs an understanding soul, such as yours.
Namaste,
Belinda
Jane, all our mentors teach with what you call “humility, compassion and love”… it’s just that sometimes those qualities call for showing the willing student what they can’t see themselves, for instance the fact that they may have created a reality they don’t want.
Sometimes “tough love” is required when people have run into a brick wall and can’t turn around.
“Tough love” is not slamming them into the wall (or digging them harder onto the nail), it’s saying, “Hey… excuse me… you seem to have walked into a wall (or sat on a nail), do you know why you’ve done that?”
The way our guest mentor handled the caller was the most perfect thing he could have done, because he let the caller see through his OWN eyes — and through his OWN words — what he had created.
Yes, humble, compassionate, loving… and beautiful.
Judging it as anything other than that is exactly what you (ironically) say we should not do.
Interesting!
cheers
Heather
Personal growth requires a firm decision, and what is being said is that people need to make this themselves.
The issue here is in discerning between people who want growth and those who don’t.
There are so many people here on Earth that this skill of discernment actually has more spiritual value than compassion itself.
“At first you move the dog, but if it has a habit of sitting on nails, you leave it to learn what pain is”. Same with people and dogs.
Seekers shouldn’t waste their time with people who don’t learn - they are far too precious!
Blessed Be.
I have enjoyed reading all comments. I truly believe life is what you make it. I have been thru an abused childhood,failing marriages, abusing relationships,less than perfect children & a mother who committed sucicide when I was ten. I blame no one and although I have my pity party days, I am truely grateful for where I am today. There isn’t a counsler out there who could have helped me get here. They can only help to uncover what you already know. There is truth in the quote “You Can Lead a Horse To Water but You can’t MAKE him Drink.” I have learned to be open,listen and learn from the mistakes of others. People ,get what YOU need and move on. THIS IS NOT A JUDGEMENT CALL. I am in constant search of more and I am blessed to have recieved this bit of information.
INTENT is ALL the thought is the seed to the deed
by Suzan Mckie 04/2005
Body_and_soul_mechanics@hotmail.com
A key question I asked people when I was teaching a Life Path to Joy class was whether they were choosing to live in a friendly or unfriendly Universe. People living in an unfriendly Universe tend to recreate the pain and fear as an expectation of how the world works. So I ask if they are willing to make a different choice of a friendly Universe. Then when situations come up, they can ask themselves if what they expect to happen is the outcome a friendly universe provides, i.e. that things will work out.
If they aren’t willing now, that is their choice as well. They may believe they have dues to pay or something before allowing themselves something different. It is all God.
Another component of “act as if” is to view your world through the eyes of one who has achieved it. If you want to have a successful business. You start looking at things to see if they would be good opportunities. You make choices in how you use your time the way a successful person would choose to use their time.
Your focus would be looking for ways to improve your situation, knowing that the solutions are available. That causes your brain to start seeing possibilities instead of screening them out (like when you might have been affirming nothing is working). Celebrate every little thing that is going right and your mind will draw more of them in.